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| Wifey & Me, First X-Mas, 1995 |
We slept well past the 11am check out time, but nobody seemed to mind. Since it was Sunday there were a lot more rooms available and many of them for a bargain price. We liked the pyramid place, The Luxor and Kelly scored a room there for two nights at only $99/night. We checked in sometime around 2 in the sizzling July afternoon, still worn out from the previous night's acid trip, I needed a short nap for rest and to reset my head. Kelly left me to rest and went exploring, when she got back to wake me with a nice wake & bake, she had a plan for how we could get married. I listened as I sipped coffee, took small hits from our little pipe and contemplated this gigantic concept of marriage. I had twice before made this attempt, I knew the statistics were against us because over 50% of all American marriages end in divorce, so I shared these thoughts with my young bride-to-be, “I think there's too much pressure on the couple to go through the act of getting married with the whole wedding ceremony, the reception and all those people putting their hopes and expectations upon the couple to have a long, happy marriage.” I smiled at Kelly, “I like this, however, just you and me with some Justice of The Peace, a secret and private affair in the lonely desert, just us starting our long, happy marriage by ourselves.”
“Yeah, me too...” Kelly agreed, “So should we do this?”
“Okay, but here's the thing...” I made a proposal and promise, “We're getting married, right? It's something between you and me only, right? So we just keep it that way, we don't make a deal about it when we get back to Chicago, we don't fuss about it with our families or friends, it's just Kelly and d'Philip, our wedding, our marriage, our union, right?”
“Yeah, of course...” Kelly seemed a little confused where this conversation was going, “What are you saying, d'Philip, are you ashamed of getting married to me?”
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| Wifey & Me in 1996... |
“Oh hell no!” I corrected her, “I'm just thinking that the big ceremony, the reception and celebration of a couple's marriage should come later in their relationship. I feel like we shouldn't make a big deal of our union until, say, our 20th anniversary, then we have something worth celebrating!”
“I want to celebrate our anniversary every year...” she had a note of slight disappointment, “I think it's very important to honor our Love.”
“I agree! I think it's so important we should honor, cherish and offer our Grateful thanks for our Love every single day!” I rubbed her soft arm gently, “But that's between you and I, the rest of the world has to wait until we've really shown them how Love works, how marriage is forever...get it?”
“I get it...” she smiled and kissed me lightly, “I do!”
“You do?” I chuckled, “Let's get before a justice, you say that again!”
“Okay, but um...” Kelly glanced down quickly then back at me, “I'm fucking famished, can we eat first, please?”
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| Wifey & Me, 1998... |
We went across the street to a nearby Denny’s and I continued this very confusing conversation, “You know Kelly, you don’t even really know me.” I sipped the straw of a cold drink and finished, “I mean, I’m a really crazy person, I think, I mean, seriously…something’s not right about me.”
“Whatever,” she smiled, not realizing the gravity of my words, “I know, I am too!”
“No, I mean, really…” I spoke truthfully, harshly, candid as I could be, being blunt was the only way I knew how to be at that critical moment, I reached across the table to touch her hands, “I mean, I might be mentally ill, I could be BiPolar even, you know, manic depression?”
“So what?” she shook her head, “I love you no matter what, d’Philip, in sickness and in health, no matter anything!”
“But, what about…” I rolled my eyes, “the difference in our age, my goodness girl, you’re just 19 years old, you have your whole life before you.”
“And I want to live it with you!” she pulled her hands from mine, “What are you trying to say? Are you saying you don’t want to marry me now?”
“No, I do…” I hesitated, “But maybe we should wait.”
“Wait?!?” she hissed, “Wait for what? I Love You, do You Love Me?”
“Yes, of course, but…” I stammered, “I mean, I’m 33 years old, I’m half crazy, we just met each other four months ago or something, if you want to wait, I would understand…I mean, maybe…”
“Fuck that!” she snapped, “Don’t put this on me, I don’t want to wait, I want to do it right now! Look, you dragged me half way across the country, I told everyone we were coming here to get married, the whole way here, you kept saying this too! Fuck, I even told my parents, I told everyone!”
“Okay, but…” I lowered my eyes, I felt shame, “I'm fucking insane!”
“But my ass!” she scoffed, “You are going to fucking marry me, d’Philip, right here, right now, do you understand?”
“Okay…”
“I don’t care if you are crazy, I don’t care about your past, I don’t even fucking care about the future!” she leaned closer and whispered, “I Love You, with all my heart, all my soul…all my rock, all my roll, right?”
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| Wifey & Me, 16 July 2000...Fifth Anniversary Cruise... |
“Always have, always will…” I smiled, there was no arguing with Kelly, her mind was made up and I trusted her decision. I grabbed the check, pulled a few bucks from my pocket, tossed it on the Formica table as we both stood up, hand in hand, “Let’s do it then, let’s go get married!”
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| Our Family, 07.16.01... |
Outside the afternoon sun was brutal and hot, it sizzled on our souls the way a flame sears the juice inside a steak on the grill, our flavor of Love was cooked inside. We grabbed a cab to The Clark County Courthouse and obtained our marriage license. It was all too easy, they had an express window, we filled out a short, easy form, paid our $50 and it was done, we were registered to get married in Clark County, Nevada.
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| Wifey & Me, 16 July 2003... |
We took another cab to the nearby fashion mall with less than an hour before the stores closed, we went in separate directions, each of us searching for the perfect outfit to get married or buried in and less than 20 minutes and over $800 dollars later, we were out of there.
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| Our Tenth Anniversary Get-Away in Wisconsin... |
We walked across the street to The World’s Largest Gift Shop and quickly found identical rings, the ones Kelly saw the night before, handcrafted silver by Native Tribes. These were our wedding bands, the symbolic rings of our never ending relationship. They were very simple but yet significantly elegant with a deep, profound meaning to us, these relatively cheap rings meant everything about Love to Kelly and me.
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| Wife & Me at home, 07.16.2008 |
Another short cab ride later we were back at the hotel, it was sometime close to the six in the evening hour. I quickly showered and dressed first and when I was done, while Kelly was in the shower, I left her a little love note then went for a long, slow walk alone. I wandered through the maze like hallways and cut across the crowded casino floor, my hands in my pockets, slowly moving along, lost in thought. I was still feeling the after effects of the LSD, but there was something more, something far deeper stirring inside my soul. I didn’t recognize this sensation, but it was a powerful emotion that seemed to control my soul. It scared me a little, hell, it scared me a lot! I was about to get married. I was about to get married again. This was, by most accounts, the third time I was doing this and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing the right the thing, perhaps, I thought, I am not good husband material. I pondered the past relationships and considered the how and why they both failed. I looked at the matter as if I was the reason, I was the cause of the demise of my two previous unions. I had the sudden, uncontrollable urge to get a mellow drink.
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| Wifey & I went to see Paul McCartney in 2011... |
As I stood waiting for the bartender to take my order, a very pretty girl sat down next to me and asked me to buy her a drink. I smiled, agreed but then she explained she was looking for a date, she was a hooker working the bar! I laughed, excused myself, and with my glass of wine, walked to one of the little club tables. I took my first sip of sweet wine when Kelly emerged from the crowd. From the faceless sea of tourists, gamblers and intoxicated people, Kelly strolled with confidence, grace. She was looking so fine, so fair, as if there was not another person there, I could see was my child bride. Kelly was dressed in a white lacy 40’s style dress, it was form fitting over her subtle, sexy curves and had little beads of pearls which sparkled almost as brightly as her smile. She was pure radiance, angelic and divine, she was the most beautiful bride, she was all mine. I stopped thinking about if this was right or wrong because nothing ever felt this good before and I knew if I didn’t grab it, I may never again have the chance. After all, when you’re in Las Vegas, you take a gamble no matter what, we let it roll!
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| Wifey & I on 16 July 2012 |
The Little White Chapel by The Courthouse was the establishment we picked, we drove there with the top up and parked across the street. We finished our nervous cigarettes, giggled at the absurd series of events unfolding around us and then, when we had our marriage license in hand, we went inside the small, cozy establishment. I often told people that Elvis walked Kelly down the aisle, but in truth, she walked herself, barefoot, towards me. The justice of the peace stood at a small podium decorated with wildflowers, an old lady sat on a bench to the side as a witness and it all felt like a dream to me. There was a video camera rolling in the far back corner, but it was too far away to hear our personal vows of Love and commitment. I don't remember exactly how I said it, but I know that I gave Kelly my promise to never leave her, to remain with her no matter what happened in our life together, I was her partner, her friend, her lover, her soul mate. Kelly said the same things to me too, she promised me her life, her undying devotion, rock solid loyalty to the end of our lives. I believed her, she believed me and most importantly, we both believed in this marriage union. The justice of the peace said a few words and the signed the marriage document. The little old lady stood up, smiled at us while she too signed the document then she said we were the happiest couple she had ever seen. She said that to everyone, I'm sure, but when she said it us, I believed her too. The ceremony was over in less than 15 minutes, it started at 11:50 in the evening on Sunday, the 16th of July, so that's our date, 07/16/95!
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| Wifey & I at Phish Show in 2013... |
We burst from the cool of the chapel into the ninety degree evaporated July night, leaped into our car, pulled the top down and I started the car. As if on cue, the song “Handle with Care” by The Traveling Wilburys just started right from the beginning of the song. It was as if the cosmos rewound the tape, the heavens played this unique and endearing Love song for us and it forever became “our song” which set the tone for our entire relationship to this day. We cruised the strip for a while, playing our song loud, waving at people on the street like we were in a parade of Love and Happiness until Kelly tossed her cheap little bouquet to a group of giggling girls on a street corner. One of them caught it and as we drove away from the stop light, we heard the girl yell a thankful cheer. After an hour or so we eventually ended up back at our hotel and in the cool of our bed we did what lovers do, but this time as husband and wife.
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| Wifey & I in 2015 at our California homestead... |
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This excerpt from "My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On..." is from Chapter Three (Handle with Care) and like the post I made on Thursday, this is a true story that actually happened like this (more or less) EXACTLY 20 years to this evening...Indeed my wife, Kelly...who married me when she was only 19 years old and I was a 33 year old Hippie Godfather on a manic spree...almost demanding that I hold up to my end of the agreement, forcing me to be a man of my word...she saw that we were married and I have been thanking her everyday ever since...for 7,305 days I have been with my wife and she has been with me. It's an incredible feat, she should get a freaking pulitzer prize for having survived 20 years of me, but she know who I am...she know what I am and she gives me the latitude and space and I need t simply be everything I can be...likewise, she has been the support and backbone of this family since my catastrophic psychosis in 2006 and held up together for almost 5 years until I once again regain a sense of control, when I found a healthy place and felt stable...she was there and she is still here...always.
In my book "My BiPolar Reality" I try to share some of the secrets and tricks we've found useful in managing a long term relationship with someone who has a mental disorder. We are not the easiest beasts to love and it takes a unique and very strong person to handle it, to be there no matter what...but for me, as a broken soul, it's all I need to make my life have meaning, she is the center of my universe and without here, I'm doomed to be enveloped into the black hole of despair again. Kelly and d'Philip Chalmers, the next best thing since John & Yoko!
Again, once last time I kindly ask...if you like my style and want to read more...if you know someone with BiPolar who might enjoy a positive, fun and very insightful book about how to manage this wretched illness...please consider order a copy of the book from amazon, ask for it at your local book store or get it for 50% OFF (save $10) at MY WEBSITE ONLY:
once again, I a very Grateful for your sharing some time to read me today...I hope you liked the story and more importantly, I hope you can see how powerful Love can be...dig?
Everyone please take care, stay well and always be safe!
Peace,
d'Philip
16 July 2015
The San Joaquin Valley
Republic of California
Earth
