It was on this date, the 10th
of November, during that awful year of 2001, when my literary hero, my mentor
and friend, Ken Kesey passed away. In the so many years since his demise, I’ve
come to understand some of the “lessons” he gave me better than ever before.
The most significant thing Kesey ever said to me, and it was during a set break
of a Grateful Dead New Year’s Eve show in Oakland, California in 1985-86, was “If
you want to write, avoid fame at all costs!” Over the nearly 30 years since he
said that to me, I have thought about it a lot. I didn’t get it, I couldn’t
comprehend what he meant but nonetheless, I did avoid fame at all costs while I
was learning to write. There were a few times when I started gaining some
attention, I was basically infamous among several communities, but never
reaching for that big ring of fame. Then, in 2006, when I had my psychotic breakdown
and started a long, grueling road to recovery over the following 9 years, I
started to realize what Kesey’s meaning was…If I want to write, I need to avoid
fame because once you become famous for something, that’s your label, that’s
who you are, no matter what else one might accomplish. When you become famous
as a writer, the title of your break-through success, the book or story you wrote becomes your definition. For Kesey it was "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" and other authors too, Stephen King is forever "The Shining" and "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" will always be Hunter S. Thompson. That’s what everybody expects of you, it's what your fan-base wants and your publisher needs to sell. In the summer of 2001 Kesey did amend this advice by adding, "When you're dead, everybody loves you, everybody's your friend and everything you did was pure fucking genius!"
Today my 2nd book “MyBiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” has been internationally released by The Intrepid Editor
Press Ltd. and although there’s a bit of sentimental gratitude for it being
released on this day, there is something else significant to me about this day.
I have done as Keez said, I have avoided the fame as much as I can for so many
of my 50+ years...so now that I have an entire catalog of stories, novels,
screenplays, poems, lyrics and a lot of other artistic projects, I do think it’s
time for me to step from the shadows and introduce myself to the world for what it's worth. I'm curious how my work is received but if fame finds me, because I'm not going to look for it, I'll know it’s a double edge
sword. It adds all sorts of additional pressure on my ability to perform, it
limits the freedom to simply be another person enjoying life and I think that’s
what Kesey really cared about when he said those words to me; enjoy life for who I am. So I did, I have enjoyed this life. I did write most of my stories and lived, survived and evolved. But before I exit
the planet, I'm putting it out there...if fame finds me or not, it won’t matter anymore
because I’ve already been living the best part of life. I think John Lennon
knew this too, in the song he co-wrote with David Bowie (1975’s “Fame”), these
are the opening lyrics:
Fame makes a man think
things over
Fame lets him lose, hard to swallow
Fame puts you there where things are hollow
Fame
Fame, it's not your
brain, it's just the flame
That burns your change to keep you insane
Fame
Fame, what you like is
in the limo
Fame, what you get is no tomorrow
Fame, what you need you have to borrow
Fame
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| John Lennon, September 1980 |
Shortly after scribing those lyrics, Lennon went into “retirement” for 5 years to avoid his own fame, to raise his child as just another average househusband and to again simply feel free to walk Central Park or the streets of New York as simply himself. But this guy who was just in a band that made it very, very big and that’s all, this man who once dared to grow his hair long, to be a little different and sing about Love & Peace will be pegged with "The Beatles" furthermore. John wanted out so he quit, he stopped but we all know what happened to Lennon when he again stepped from the shadows into fame’s limelight again. We lost him for good and he lost it all.
However, in honor of both these
artistic heroes of mine, for the sake of my own legacy (and pocketbook),
because I want to leave my name on a body of work that will hopefully, possibly change
the lives of others. I have a deep desire to share my tales, both fictional and not, with whoever wants to hear them. In doing this I shall step from the shadows of obscurity and dare the
limelight of fame to shine on me for a while; I plan on using my 15+
minutes to scream, shout and advocate the issues I most believe in. I am past
the point where I care about being accepted, I never give a shit about fashion or being politically correct or pleasing the man, playing by the rules, fuck changing the system from within...all I ever want to do is share my thoughts and
feelings through some basic stories and art with a goal of helping others who
might also feel/think something like me. I am ready for it, I say bring it on,
I can handle whatever the spin doctors, PR mavens and news media have to throw
at me…I also guarantee it will be worth the while too!
So my dear friend Ken Kesey…You're there in hippie heaven or where ever you went off to after this life, you finally got off the bus for good but man, I miss you. I know a lot of other people who miss you even more...but this is our fate, we're living inside our movies, trying to put the fun back into mental and trying to remember that Love is not an emotion, it's simple common sense. Thanks for the lessons, thanks for the trips...
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| Available Anywhere! |
Lastly, I would be remiss and my
publisher would be pissed if I didn’t make it evident that my new book “MyBiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” has been released today. You can buy it
directly from my website and it will come autographed (www.dphilipchalmers.net) or it will
be available internationally everywhere by the end of the week (you might have
to request it at some venues)!
The book is styled to read something like a novel,
but it’s a true story about my life experiences dealing with a serious mental
illness since my formative years....but please, don't let this the story that forever "defines me", I'd hate to be stuck with the "mental illness survivor" label! However the story of how and when I found
Kesey is in the book, my fixation on John Lennon and The Beatles is included,
my adventures following The Grateful Dead is detailed and a whole lot of very
helpful, useful information about how I have been successfully managing this
awful disorder, especially over the past 5 years. I will be promoting the book
in the San Francisco bay area throughout the end of the year and if we get a
bigger distributor, we’ll be doing a national tour next year (2015).
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| d'Philip 10 November 2014 |
So that’s what I’ve got to say this week, I look forward to your comments or sharing this post…as always, I wish you all the very best, take care and be well!
