How The Hell Did I Ever Get Published?

This article is inspired by one of my Google+ friends, somebody I know from one of the mental illness groups I frequent, she asked me how did I get “My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” published? It’s not uncommon to be asked this question, I am finding, the more attention and, frankly, sales from the book, the more people are asking me “How did you get your book published?” I first need to note that when I hear this question, when it comes past my ears, into the brain and my mind processes it, what I end up hearing in the question is a bit different than what was originally asked. When I hear this question, one of the first thoughts to cross my mind is, “Well, it’s not like it’s the ONLY book or thing I’ve written…” and I start to name my first novel (“SCHLEP”) or any of the three screenplays, or other published articles but I don’t answer the question with that, it’s just the rapid series of thoughts flashing through my mind as it’s hearing the original question, dig? Instead, I like to politely answer, “I got published with a lot of hard work, due diligence and the most valuable help of a couple of other people…” and then I like to remind them, “It’s not about being published, however, it’s about writing what you believe, writing what you Love, following your Bliss and everything else, including publishing and money, will follow…” This is the truth, as I know it, I never write with the intention of getting something published or produced, I simply write whatever my imagination gives me…in my definition of art, pure art, it’s never about money or fame or making anyone happy but the artist themselves…anything less than that, in my humble, crazy opinion, is simply marketing, media and for the most part, minutia and fodder!

But that is not the whole story of how I got “My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” published, in fact, if it wasn’t for the tragic events during the summer of 2014, I might not have a publishing deal at all, or at very least, the book would not have been published in the way it has and I would not have the commitment for another two (2) books by 2019; but in truth I owe part of good fortune to the inevitable fate of being in the right place, with the right manuscript, at the right time and I got lucky. To tell the whole story, however, as well to appreciate the gravity I feel in this unique situation, you’ll need to indulge me by letting me press the rewind button a few scenes back, so you can get a clue that is key to the entire matter. Besides, it give me the opportunity to write about something different, something random, inspired by someone else and I’m writing for my own enjoyment, something I love doing. So here goes, the long, strange tale of how I got “My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” published, dig?

I have always been a writer, since a child, I have been one to write about things. All kinds of things, real events and journalism, imaginary fictional stories of fantasy and stories about my own personal adventures, feelings and thoughts. I started a newsletter in one of the apartment complexes I lived in when I was 10 and I wrote a 500 page fantasy book when I was 12, I am a writer. It’s what I do, it’s who I am and truthfully, it’s really all I can truly be too. I love music, I love playing music with other people and I adore sharing music live with other people, it’s a communication that goes beyond the limits of words and language. I wanted to express myself with music, for a very long time I tried, seriously set my sails for the rock and roll dream.

d'Philip, circa 1976

 Things happen, life happens and dreams change or died. Just before my 26^th birthday, while a student at DePaul University, I started to think about the truth of who I really am; I am a writer. But again, there were other demands in life, I had children, a mortgage and a degree in marketing, putting them together turned me into an advertising kind of dude, I made corporate videos and educational or safety presentations. In combination with my crumpling second marriage, working in that corporate realm drove me mad!

Okay, so fast forward about 20 years, it’s 2009 and I had been in recovery from a major psychotic break for almost three years. I was engaged in therapy, twice a week as well as several group sessions each week and one of the best ways, I found, to help me cope with this illness was writing. I was writing in a journal several times a time, I was publishing a blog article nearly everyday and in November of 2009, I took up “The National Write a Novel in a Month” contest; The “NaNoWriMo” is a non-profit event to highlight literacy issues and the object is to complete a 10,000 word story, start to finish in 30 days or less.

 I took on the challenge and on November 1, 2009 I sat down at my laptop and didn’t get up for 30 days. I woke up in the morning, after my exercises and getting the family out the door, I sat at y laptop and wrote until I dropped. After my nap, I rolled out of bed and started writing some more. In the middle of the night, when I couldn’t sleep, I wrote in the book and then, at the end of the 30 day challenge, on November 30^th of 2009, I finished the first draft of my first actual novel, “SCHLEP”! As part of the prize for accomplishing the task I got a free paperback copy of my book from the publishing company operated by amazon, createspace.com; I bought a couple of extra copies of that first draft to circulate among various friends, it was a novelty and something to show off come my birthday and the holidays. However, a couple of people who read the book, including my mother-in-law, thought it was a very promising start for me. My mother-in-law, who works with many doctors in a well established clinic, started talking to one of the doctors there about my amazing accomplishment and the book which resulted from that…one thing led to another and shortly after the first of 2010, this doctor, who was retiring, offered to publish my book via a “micro publishing” company and offered my family a 51% ownership of the publishing company.

On April 10, 2010, after over paying a “non-professional” editor for her crappy services, after hiring a second editor to fix the mess of the first editor, when we had a decent cover design and some ideas of how to market the book, it was released, I was sort of published! I began to get very involved with promoting the book, along with my partners, we made some contacts with a small distributor and over the course of the first year we sold almost 2,000 copies of the book worldwide! That’s not bad for a first publication on a “micro-publishing” level. Micro-publishing, like boutique publishing, is a buzz word to describe a hybrid combination of self-publishing and very small, limited press companies. It’s essentially on step beyond publishing it yourself, actually, it’s about the same except it’s not only you who is doing the publishing work, you have a small team with you along the way. After “SCHLEP” I wrote and co-wrote another 2 screenplays and along with my business partners, we made a failed attempt to land the scripts in Hollywood. That didn’t work out and it broke up the business partnership with two of my partners. Then, on June 1^st of 2013, after a particularly uplifting session with my psychiatrist where he called me “the poster boy for BiPolar Disorder” (because I’m so med complaint, aware of my disorder, working hard on improving it and making great progress), my doctor suggested I write a book about my experiences, but I laughed. He continued, telling me that I have taught him things, he can see how I help others in group and my own progress, “You should write a book, d’Philip…” his accent a proper English/India smooth and calm tone, “I would buy a copy!”

That’s exactly what I did, that very same day. I went home, opened my old laptop and started writing “My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…” and within 90 days, I had a 500+ page first draft. I took the manuscript to one of my former college professors at DePaul University who was kind enough to both do a “quick fix” edit on it, helped me distill the book to a more digestible 400+ pages and then I went back to my original publishing partners for their input on this new, non-fiction book. I was, during this period, blogging a lot at a small site called Blogster (www.blogster.com) and one of the people with whom I shared and enjoyed reading recently got herself a book deal with Simon & Shuster. I was surprised when I told her about my book and she confessed that she told her new editor about me because, evidently, I was both her inspiration to write a book and she depended on my critique/insights on her blogs…she passed on a rough second draft the manuscript to her editor in New York and I set my sites on about 30 other publishing companies that have books similar to mine. Another three months went by, it was just after the first of 2014 and I had been regularly getting rejection letters from my random submissions. I had also learned that of the 30 companies I sent the manuscript to, 22 of them were owned by one of four larger media companies, including Simon & Shuster. This didn’t sit well with me, I know these large media companies make superstars out of authors, they sell a shit ton of paperbacks and I would get a sizable advance fee if I were “lucky” to sign with them, but that’s not me, that’s not who I am.

Perhaps it’s a symptom of my social anxieties, it might be my inherent mistrust and paranoia of large media conglomerates (a BiPolar trait), or maybe it was the advice of Ken Kesey echoing in the back of my head “If You Want to Be a Writer, Avoid Fame At All Costs!” but before the last of those companies got back to me, before my friend’s editor at Simon & Shuster finally contacted me, I refocused my target to companies that specialize in books about self-help, psychology and personal stories about health related issues. There were only 10 companies on this list, I started with the top three biggest companies; one in Boston, two in California and after I sent out those 3 copies, along with a personal letter explaining my desire to avoid larger companies but I had Simon & Shuster looking at the manuscript presently.

The original cover design...

 The acquisition editor of the company in Boston was kind enough to call me directly, although her company produces text book and academic oriented material and my book is not a good fit, she recommended I take this story to mainstream, she encouraged, “It’s very compelling,” and “it’s much more than a self-help book.” The publisher in Los Angeles never responded but the one in Berkeley, they were interested in my manuscript for a new subsidiary company they were launching. 

My wife & I, San Francisco, April 2014

In April of 2014, before I even had a sure deal, my wife and I flew to San Francisco for 10 days and I started knocking on doors everywhere I could find them. I had a meeting with the Berkeley company and they introduced me to their boutique publishing partner, as well, I gained some attention and support from NAMI, bringchange2mind.org and former Grateful Dead publicist, Dennis McNally. By the time we returned to Illinois, although I had yet to fully secure the contract, we decided to act upon the opportunities that were happening in California and six weeks later, our two kids, two cats and two of our close friends were on the road to California!

My daughter & I in the moving truck...

I know, it’s crazy, right? We had a good, stable life in Palatine where our friends and families lived; my wife had a decent position in a family operated company where she’d been working 8 years and our cash flow was liquid and ample; we had been homeschooling our children and they were both relatively content and I had a great therapeutic team helping me manage this twisted disorder of mine; why in the world would a family give all that up suddenly? I can tell you this, I had no other plan, I typically don’t even believe in making a Plan B, because in my mind, that sets the tone for failure. I used the Viking method to motivate, they sailed across the sea and landed on the shores to conquer because there was no turning back, they burned all the boats upon first landing! So we left the security of this comfort zone based on, essentially and most honestly, based on my gut feeling that this was the not only the right thing, but the ONLY THING we should do…I had a follow-up meeting in late June with the boutique publisher, so that was the date we had to be there. We left on Father’s Day, June 15^th and arrived 5 days later in Stockton. My late June meeting got re-scheduled until the first week of July, one of the two friends that moved with us returned home and the other one was insistent on finding a place to reside between Stockton and Modesto because of his job opportunities.

Our Farmhouse in The San Joaquin Velley

 My wife’s former employers were very generous to her and continued to pay her for the first six months and after living in an Extended Stay motel for a month, we found the place we reside, The Farmhouse in The San Joaquin Valley. 

However, my negotiations with this publisher were not going well, he was, it turned out, also BiPolar and was out of control. He made both financial promises that were not fulfilled and demanded my agreement to a 3 book, five year deal to launch his new company. I tried to play along, but I knew it wasn’t real. I had the feeling this guy was full of shit, his answers weren’t logically adding up and I went to my attorney with my concerns. I kept the business matters to myself as long as I could, I didn’t want to discourage my wife, our roommate or our kids but it took a toll on me.  Eventually, in the first week of August, the entire shit house came crashing down and although I was not doing well, my attorney, my wife and my former publishing partner, Dr. T.H. Crowe had my back; they struck a deal with the larger publishing company to fund my partners publishing company, The Intrepid Editor Press, and honored much of the financial promises originally made to me.

 This process took a while to hammer out and I wasn’t too involved both because of the stress of the situation…but it wasn’t just their quick thinking and hard work either, there was one other matter that tipped the scales in my final favor and it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

I remember exactly where I was when I first heard the breaking news that one of my lifelong heroes has apparently committed suicide; Robin Williams died on August 11th and like me, he was BiPolar.

Robin Williams in July 2014

 That’s the spark which ignited the renewed interest in my book and caused the larger publishing company in Berkeley to help fund my partner’s publishing company for a 3 book, five year agreement! Evidently, being a local boy, Robin Williams’ death rippled throughout the entire Bay area like an emotional earthquake, upsetting everyone, including the people who finally agreed to publish my book. I was, like Robin Williams, trying to reach people with my madness and offer help, hope, humor and humanity. They got it, as if the mighty ghost of the funniest man on the planet whispered to them, on August 22^nd, a lovely and warm Friday afternoon, we signed the papers, made the agreements and I was, at last, finally an officially published author! It’s so strange too, I feel a strong remorse that it took the death of a good man to help another good man get what he needs, but I suppose that’s the circle of life or something, right? I tell myself that from time to time, because thinking about it sometimes makes me feel guilty, strange, isn’t it? I think this book would have been published anyway, I maybe would have waited longer or found some way of doing all myself again, but it’s a good book, it’s a compelling story and it’s the truth about “My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On…”

So, one man gathers what another man spills, I’ve had my fill of promoting this book yet I have, by contractual agreement, another full 12 months of promoting this title; I am free from it on June, 1, 2016 but then, as planned by my publisher, my next book will be released in August of 2016 and the whole cycle will begin again! But, and this is important to me, it’s exactly what I wanted. I followed my gut feel, I took a leap of faith in myself with my family in tow and it’s working out! Our roommate, the one who forced the notion of living someplace in The San Joaquin, has since also returned to Illinois. He was unable to find gainful employment by the end of September, so he bailed. We’re considering relocating to the mountains, where I was originally aiming to go when we first made our plan, but then again, this area is not too terrible and it’s an easier thing to stay put than uproot and move again. I have a new book I have been working on, I have this promotional events all over the place and moving to another place, finding our way around another new town, making our daughter be “the new kid on the block” again, it’s not worth the trouble. I think we’d rather stay here until she graduates high school (we’re trying public schools here, much better than Illinois), but purchase the land when we find the right parcel, build our homestead and then, in about four more years, move there for good. Our daughter has blossomed, come out of her lifelong shell (being diabetic in school made her feel bad about herself but even when she was homeschooled, it hurt) and our son has never been so positive, looking forward to engaging life, planning to be attend Cal State in Humboldt to become a music educator. Even after giving up all that comfort and safety for the risky venture of relocating here in The San Joaquin, there is very little we miss. Actually, we do miss good deep dish pizza, Chicago style hot dogs, going to Cubs games but the only thing we really miss a GREAT DEAL is the people we love. Funny thing is most of them are dying to come out here, now that they know someone here in California, we’re a popular vacation destination!  But that’s all me speculating out-loud and blabbing along, it has NOTHING to do with what I’m writing about, dig?

In conclusion, to answer the question asked in the article, “How The Hell Did I Ever Get Published?” although I took a very long way to the conclusion, it is essentially what you have heard before: Follow Bliss, that’s ALL I did really, write a book because it gave me bliss, shared the book because it gave me bliss, went to California because it gave me bliss, got the deal I wanted…because I was in the right place, the right time and simply followed my bliss. The story, of course, does not end here. There is a great deal more funding needed because we’ve already exceeded the budget we were advanced in the first place for this book and there won’t be another advance of funds until the next book is delivered in June of next year (2016); in the meanwhile we have to raise some capital to continue promoting the book, we are trying to reach this 1,000 unit benchmark, our original deadline has passed and the second one is about to expire also, yet we’re only about 14% towards that lofty goal.

 I have faith in myself, in my partners and the laws of nature…the next step, when you follow your bliss seems to be something like “the money will follow” and, thus far that too is proving to be true; we’re not quite as well off as we were in Illinois yet, but we’re confident that given the rest of this year, we’ll get back to that income level again. But that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that we continue to follow the bliss!

It's nice to be back writing again, I hope you enjoyed this and I'm Grateful for your time. I plan to publish some articles during the next few weeks, although I don't intend on doing much "social networking"...I'm making plans to be at The Grateful Dead's 50th Anniversary Party in Santa Clara on June 27 & 28, but since I have the next two months off from promotion (so I can work on the next book), I'm planning some fun adventures too! Until next time, like I always say to you guys...Take Care, Be Well and Stay Safe!

Peace,

d'Philip

The San Joaquin Valley

Republic of California

Earth