I Pity Inanimate Objects

Earlier this week I was on a podcast with a mental health professional in Oregon when the subject of how and why I name my various inanimate objects. I do, I have a name for all the things I typically utilize in any given day, I’ve done this for a long time too but when the interviewer stopped me and asked “Why?”

“Well…” I had to stop and think, why did I do this, when did I start doing this and I wondered if others also did this, but I said, “I pity inanimate objects, this gives them a little dignity.”

“You pity inanimate objects?” I could hear her shaking her head, but she said, “They are inanimate, they have no feelings, they are not alive, why do you pity them?”

“I beg to differ…” I opened a can of worms and continued, “I can sense some kind of life force from them, some kind of belonging to this symbiotic reality of the 21^st century…” I thought I was going off my meds, I was so lost in my blabbering, “…or maybe I name them because I feel lonely.”

“Ah, that’s deep…” the interview said and continued talking about the loneliness of having a mental illness. She continued talking for another five minutes with only minor agreements and an occasional Grateful chuckle from me. The interview concluded the show, “Thank you d’Philip Chalmers, author of “My BiPolar reality; How Life Goes On…” it’s been a very interesting conversation!”

“I thank you too!” I smiled and signed with relief, “Great show!”

I hung up the phone and sat alone in my thoughts, I remembered this song from my past, when I was perhaps 16 or 17 old, by two of the most brilliant, creative and original composers of the 20^th century…Kevin Godley and Lol Crème…they were very influential on me as a young artist and it was a song of theirs which got me into the idea of naming my inanimate objects.

"Freeze Frame" 1979 Godley & Creme

The song is called “I Pity Inanimate Objects” and it was on their third album “Freeze Frame” which was released in 1979…the song is really trippy, the lyrics difficult to understand because of the wild production of the piece, but for the sake of this story, used without any permission whatsoever, are the lyrics which influenced me:

I pity inanimate objects
Because they can't move
From specks of dust to paperweights
Or a pound note sealed in resin
Plastic Santas in perpetual underwater snowstorms
Sculptures that appear to be moving
But aren't
I feel sorry for them all
What are they thinking
When they arrive at a place
Do they sigh with disappointment
And when they leave
Do they have regrets?
Is a sofa as happy in one corner
As it is in another
And how does the room feel about it?
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity them all
Physics isn't fair
Is a tree as a rocking horse
An ambition fulfilled
And is the sawdust jealous?
I worry about these things
Peppercorns don't move
Until they contaminate the ice-cream
Three weeks later
Is the gold in Fort Knox happy gold?
I care about these things
Some things are better left alone
Grains of sand prefer their own company
But magnets are two faced
No choice for sugar
But what choice could there be
But to drown in coffee or to drown in tea
The frustrations of being inanimate
Maybe its better that way
The fewer the moving parts
The less there is to go wrong
I wonder about these things
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity them all

"Della" my computer for six years...

This Expy, my present laptop...

So that’s about when I started naming things that were inanimate…it started with cars and guitars, but as time and technology progressed it includes almost everything I use on a daily basis. I would even say that this little mind game of mine helped me during the darkest days after my recovery. I had severe agoraphobia and couldn’t relate to other humans very well, but my trust old laptop,  Della was there for me everyday. I got a new laptop last October, her name is Expy. 

This is Dalek, the coffee maker...

                                                      

     I call my phone (an android) S3; the coffee maker is called Dalek (“CAFFEINATE!!”) and even my medicine bowls have names (my favorites are either Ervis or The Last Moon of Poosh) but all of this still helps to this day. I keep better

This is Ervis and Poosh...

track of my things because they are not just my things, they are my friends too. Like in the movie “Star Wars”, R2D2 and C3PO were as human as Yoda! Well, maybe Yoda isn’t the right character, but they were characters in the movie in their own right and so it’s a little like that in my reality too; I have a personality for these devices, I have an emotional investment in them. I take really good care of them and never lose them either, so for it’s worth, it’s true, indeed…I Pity inanimate Objects!

Do You?

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This is a random blog article for the day because I'm starting to feel a little better than I have all week...the pain is subsiding, the blue optimistic skies are giving rise to hope in my sould and I'm feeling a bit silly...which is always a good thing! This is the FINAL THREE DAYS to get your copy of my book "My BiPolar Reality; How Life Goes On..." for 50% OFF (plus it's personally autographed and comes with other stuff)...Next week I'll be in San Francisco for the week and everyday, sometimes twice a day, I have engagements and meetings...I may not post my Monday article, or I'll post it on Sunday night and try to keep everyone abreast during my time in The Bay City...

I am looking forward to another fun filled weekend with the family...We're having an out of town guest, our adopted step-daughter, my moonchild, Caitlin Arwen will be visiting on Sunday for the next week or so...we're so excited about this but have not told the kids she's going to be here, so it's a surprise (please don't tell them if you happen to see my kids)!

www.dphilipchalmers.net

Once again, thank you to everyone who bought the book on-line this week..it's been our best on-line sales week to day with a stagger 19 copies sold...My goal was 25 and we still have a couple of more days...so help me reach my goal and get your copy today!

I am always Grateful for your comments and re-shares, as always, I wish everyone a very splendid weekend...Take care, be well and stay safe.

Peace, 

d'Philip

17 April 2015

The San Joaquin Valley

Republic of California

Earth